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#30BrighterDays: gains, losses, and lying punk egos

The 30th Brighter Day! The 30th blog post in 30 days. I have less than 30 minutes worth of one kid’s drum lesson to finish this post before I need to make dinner and head to the other kid’s orchestra concert.

Today marks a milestone, in completing a new endeavor to brighten November, and also that I’ve posted more in one month than I do in most entire years. Furthermore I tasked myself with a practice and stuck with it even when I didn’t feel inspired! And!! The process brought inspiration back to me every single day.

What have I gained?

Direction, momentum, perspective, practice, a new workshop idea in development, re-connection with different communities (including a grad school professor I admire from over a decade ago).

What have I lost?

The feeling of being creatively stuck and also personally decentered, ungrounded, and other adjectives spellcheck dislikes recognizing.

What have I learned?

My ego lies!!! Ignore it and carry forward.

People say depression lies, and not to believe it (easier said than done for those suffering a serious bout of clinical depression, no doubt).  #30BrighterDays taught me that my ego lies BIG TIME. My ego tells me all sorts of stories about what I can and cannot, should and should not attempt, not to mention who I think really am anyway and what other people think of me.

In the same way you can tell a perfectionist a thousand times that it’s okay that they’re not everyone’s cup of tea, you can also tell us to stop worrying about what others think because everyone is only concerned about themselves and not thinking about you anyway. Our ingrate egos will ignore you much of the time–even though we know better. Instead of basking in, following, and receiving the abundant love in our lives, our perfectionist egos will wake us in the middle of the night to obsess over even the perception of a whiff of a hint of the tiniest burr caught in the fabric of a friendship or interaction.

My ego says people like my humor writing better! My ego says enough with the introspection! My ego says not enough never enough (choose the category)! My ego eyerolls a lot.

Listen it’s not all negative up in my head–I love my life and my people!! I love myself too… definitely in theory, and I’m working on practice. But how easily I tune in to the hum of that perfectionist ego frequency.  I know so many others do too. #30BrighterDays ignored my lying punk ego entirely. #30BrighterDays freed me to shine whatever light I mustered on any given day. #30BrighterDays reminded me once again that practice makes possible.

Thank you for joining me this month! Stay tuned for exciting announcements regarding a local #30BrighterDays workshop!!

p.s. Did you know that hashtags (aka the number sign #) are searchable online? If you type #30BrighterDays in the search box on my annsrants.com sidebar, you can find all of the posts from the month. You can also search it on Twitter and Facebook. Bonus brightness: Now you know what a hashtag is even if you’ve been afraid to ask since 2008.

p.p.s If you followed a link here I sure would love it if you’d subscribe!

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1 comment… add one

  • Vikki November 30, 2017, 5:28 pm

    Congratulations and I’m so happy that it was a positive experience!

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