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Justin Feminist Shirtless Trudeau Writes His Out of Office Email

Thank you for your email. I, Feminist Shirtless and GQ’s Most Stylish Politician–Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau–am out of the office/growing out my hair again.

 

JustinPMGlow
I humbly apologize that I cannot respond in my typical prompt self-effacing pre-1995 Hugh Grant
fashion. Expect a reply at my earliest convenience; aka as soon as my lean-but-bulging forearms allow me to perform this emergency c-section on the mountain yeti I discovered (and tandem-planked alongside) while singing quantum physics lullabies to young-and-soon-to-be legal marijuana crops in Toronto.

Assuming all goes well with the baby mountain yeti delivery, and assuming I don’t need to
spontaneously assist/seeing-eye man/Facebook live-stream with any other-abeled in a
plebeian mass-transit situation, I plan to devote considerable cash, resources, and viral video footage to raising awareness around the serious risks of planking with mountain yetis—especially pregnant mountain yetis.

But not before the world falls in love with the fact that under my Garrison Bespoke
skinny suit, I’m wearing a Slim Cognito® Open-Bust Mid-Thigh Bodysuit. Not only am I unafraid to
boldly go where no other politicos have gone on the charcoal/navy/black suit palette, I’m also prepared to walk a mile in Spanx toward equal pay for women in the workplace worldwide!

In the event of a North American crisis meriting immediate attention, please contact my notably less Feminist/stylish sibling President Barack Obama (the one without the raven tattoo).

Keeping my elbows to myself and my chest in your wedding photos,

Feminist Shirtless

Justin

 

4 comments… add one

  • Stephanie August 9, 2016, 8:24 am

    Omg! LOL

  • Cheryl August 9, 2016, 9:57 am

    I don’t understand most of the pop culture references here but that hasn’t stopped me from busting a gut from laughing!

  • Roshni August 9, 2016, 10:19 am

    That man has a deep, dark secret lying inside of his Slim Cognito® Open-Bust Mid-Thigh Bodysuit!! *exaggerated lustful sigh*

  • Ann Imig August 9, 2016, 12:55 pm

    The funniest part is nearly all of this is extrapolated from things he’s actually done. Yeti not withstanding. Okay, maybe not the slim-cognito, either.

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