Everyone always picks Megan’s house. Jessica and Carrie and Alon and everyone. Megan’s dad’s house–John’s. Megan calls her dad John and her mom Judy, instead of “Mom” and “Dad.” She also does this thing—every time she sees someone and they say hi she asks “How are you?” I’ve never heard another sixth grader do that ever. I might try it and I might not.
John lives one block from Joe’s market. We get off the bus from school and always stop there to get blue or red Freeze Pops and Captain Crunch and maybe a can of ravioli. When Danny stocks the shelves we talk to him because he plays guitar and sings in a band. He’s a major babe. I mean for like a 20 or 30 year old. When we go to check out, Megan just signs her name on the charge slip, so it’s basically free. I mean, so sometimes John yells GODDAMMIT MEGAN I OWE JOE THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS. John yells loud a lot and at first it’s freaky but then nothing happens.
John’s house has Macaroni in a pot on the stove on from yesterday and old milk in cereal bowls still on the table from I don’t know when. They pile up the dishes in the sink until they use all the dishes and then if you want to use a bowl you have to wash a bowl, unless you use a huge mixing bowl for your Corn Pops which you might do . By the phone there’s a million phone numbers written on the actual wall. He has canoes in his backyard and a van in the driveway that doesn’t work and a swing in the front where I sit and wait for my mom and a fire hydrant next to the driveway where they always have to say WATCH OUT FOR THE FIRE HYDRANT so people don’t smash into it. My mom drives a brown Honda and my dad drives a blue Chevy, and John drives a bright red RX-7. Everyone thinks he’s cute, too. For a dad. The paint is all pealing off the house because he scraped it off to paint it someday. They have an attic and you can crawl out the window and lay out on the roof and get tan if you put enough baby oil on and it isn’t too cold for bikinis. Megan and Carrie and Erin and I all have the same pink bikini. Also, there’s a toilet that works in a closet next to the kitchen sink.
A lady named Nancy rents a room upstairs across from Megan’s room. She has a super cozy futon and reads our tarot cards and lets us eat her cherry vitamins. Sometimes she goes to the Clinique counter and buys Megan brand new make-up. I don’t know why Nancy wears a cape over her backpack though. It makes her look like a hunchback, but that’s her right as a human on earth I guess.
Also, people just stop by John’s house, but people never just stop by at our house. The screen door always slams and you can walk in and scream MEGAN or BURK or JOHN without knocking. People do it all the time. Sometimes even Judy, Megan’s mom and Phil, Judy’s boyfriend. They come over and talk to John like friends—like it’s no big deal. If I’m with my mom and step-dad and I see my dad and step-mom I pretend like I don’t see them. And viceversa. (Do you say viisverssa or viisAverssa?)
Sometimes Burk’s friends come over. Burk is Megan’s totally gorgeous older brother who looks like Jake from the Sixteen Candles, especially if he happens to stand in front of John’s RX-7, which is a totally perfect moment that I have actually encountered. He thinks I’m Megan’s smart friend and Megan’s stay out of trouble friend so he talks to me. I always want more of his talking.
Megan sometimes turns on Patsy Cline and imitates John doing the two step with his butt going side to side. I never heard of Patsy Cline before I went to John’s but now I know all the words to Crazy and After Midnight and Strange. Megan has the loudest laugh of any of us. Sometimes she lays on her back and pulls her knees up and rocks side to side with her mouth open huge laughing and laughing.
Link up your own #WhereILivedWednesday post here!
Are you familiar with the endlessly clever Peyton Price? I’m giving away her book (not getting paid to do so, just because I like it), Suburban Haiku, and you want it. You can read it all in one sitting if you need a delightful and wry pick-me-up, or I think it makes the perfect “leaving the city for the burbs” housewarming gift. I’ll pick randomly from the comments and announce the winner next week (continental US only, please). Good luck!