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That time I played women’s pro football. Yuh-huh.


“I nodded along with their rationale, ignoring the premonition of myself laid prone like Wile E. Coyote post-steamroller”


photos by Sarah Maughan

I don’t just LTYM and mother and wife and write. I also go on assignment for Brava Magazine as a self-proclaimed fitness-for-spazzes columnist. They’ve sent me on missions involving archery, squash, Brazilian dance, Qi Gong, aerial yoga, running, swimming lessons, and in May I played football. Not flag football, not powderpuff, nope not foosball either (too dangerous). I trained with Madison’s full-on tackle women’s pro football team. You can read about it in this month’s issue, or click over here (turn to page 14-16 and click to enlarge).

Or here’s a blog-readers-only special summary:

Practice began with a toothless man named Cupcake helping me into a helmet and pads with his evil-clown tattooed arm, and ended up with me covered in sweat in the center of a team huddle. In between, I bobbed and weaved under the weight of my gear, while missing catches and those hard-to-land high-fives from my teammates. Had it been a game, The Blaze would’ve carried me off the field atop their shoulders, doused me in Gatorade, and sent me on my way with a slow-clap. I’m sure of it…

19 comments… add one

  • Becky May 20, 2013, 8:11 am

    So fabulous. This is ridiculously great!

  • Anonymous May 20, 2013, 8:39 am

    I wish I could have been there to cheer! Molly

  • Meg Conley May 20, 2013, 10:14 am

    So fantastic! Huzzah for women’s football and the courage to try new things!

  • Angela Wang May 20, 2013, 7:50 pm

    This. is. SO. COOL! You look pretty badass to me! Hope you had a great time, and kudos for trying new and exciting things! Aaaaaaand BREAK!

  • Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him May 20, 2013, 8:08 pm

    “Next I practiced blocking…”

    Something I never thought I’d hear from you outside of the theater.

  • dusty earth mother May 20, 2013, 8:24 pm

    I’m very glad you’re still among the living.

  • Nancy Davis Kho May 20, 2013, 8:29 pm

    I’m sorry but you look like the Before picture in one of those comic book cartoons for muscle powders. In a good way, I mean, but dude. I have heard of suffering for your art but you really took one for the team this time. (Didja see what I did there?)

    Glad you lived to write about it!

  • Cheryl May 21, 2013, 6:04 am

    I’d have paid cold, hard cash to watch that practice. Thanks for the morning smiles.

  • Heather May 21, 2013, 6:49 am

    Ryan says there’s a league on TV–lingerie football.

    I’m sure you’re so sad you didn’t get to do that.


  • Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac May 21, 2013, 8:32 am

    You look so ADORABLE in those photos. (A really important quality for a football player, no?)

  • Wendi May 21, 2013, 8:33 am

    Is that position in the fourth photo even legal in Wisconsin?

  • Marta G May 21, 2013, 6:49 pm

    Is lingerie football the next thing you’re gonna tackle?

    Also I’ve always wanted to get a slow clap from an audience. Definitely on my bucket list.

  • The Empress May 21, 2013, 9:37 pm

    Looks like an excuse to get horsey rides…


  • Arnebya May 23, 2013, 7:44 am

    Dammit. I want to tackle people. I don’t want to BE tackled. I just have this bit of aggression and need an outlet…

  • Roshni AaMom May 23, 2013, 1:08 pm

    You’re looking awesome! And, looks like you had a ball too…hehhehe!! See what I did: “had a ball”…ahahahahah…um, okay!

  • tracy@sellabitmum May 23, 2013, 1:24 pm

    Did I ever tell you about the time I broke six ribs playing football? Now I’m an awesome cheerleader with a mean herkie.

  • Elaine Alguire May 24, 2013, 8:41 am

    I played powder puff in high school. but we didn’t get the awesome helmet. I’m still bitter.

    This is awesome!! :D

  • Heidi May 24, 2013, 11:04 am

    Look at you! This is just awesome.

  • micheal king October 26, 2013, 7:09 am

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    if so i want you to join the sponsorship of the world wide sport now we train players for the best,and for them to archive there dreams so what are you waiting for kindly email us now on WORLDWIDEFOOTBALLACADEMY@HOTMAIL.COM we are there to help you archive your dreams..

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