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Husband’s Holiday Planning Guide

originally posted in 2010

It’s November?
It’s not even Thanksgiving!
Not at this specific moment.
Mmmmmm Cadbury Eggs
Let me think about it.
I’ll call my parents.
When is Christmas this year?
Do we have plans for Thanksgiving?
When is Thanksgiving?
Oh that’s right. I’ll call my parents.
I’ll let you know.
Is this when they sell Cadbury Eggs?
Is this when we have that long dinner with Matzoh balls? Why are we always having that long dinner with Matzoh balls. Will you make extra Matzo balls?
Is it time to go? Let me take a quick shower.
Is it time to go? I’m in the bathroom.
Is it time to go? Where is my festive black knit ski cap I wear indoors and out for 6 months out of the year?
Happy Hanukkah! Do we have anything for the boys?
I’ll do it tomorrow
Will there be more mashed potatoes? Can you make a lot? Nobody wants anymore of these, do they?
I ordered fast shipping, so it should arrive on the 27th.
Happy New Year! It should be here tomorrow.
Let me just call my parents, but not at this specific moment.
Will you get me some Cadbury Eggs?
When’s New Years?

***
Do you know Lynn at AllFookedUp? I met Lynn’s dry sense of humor at a conference called Blissdom last January. We saw each other again in August at BlogHer–twice in one year–which makes us share-the-womb close in terms of blog relationships. While she’s biding her time waiting to become a regular talk show guest, she blogs and writes a weekly column for Bloggy Momazine. Go check out her funny blog and enjoy another post written by Me Husband up at her place today called “Dear Wife” in which I try to warn myself he tries to warn me about himself 15 years too late.

21 comments… add one

  • Andrea November 3, 2011, 5:58 am

    I can’t decide if I am envious that he expresses enough interest to ask questions, or if the fact that I might have to answer ridiculous questions would cause my head to implode. I just have to say that I do always love when “we” is used to find out about something I clearly took care of!

  • Pearl November 3, 2011, 7:47 am

    The festive black hat killed me. :-)

    Right on track though, isn’t he? My husband asked me where his socks were last night. I told him the freezer, and he was half-way to the kitchen before he turned around and said “heeeeeeey”.

    I think he’s on to me. :-)

    Pearl

  • Lynn MacDonald November 3, 2011, 8:10 am

    I love you. That is all!

    I can’t believe it’s November…uggghhhh

  • Elizabeth @claritychaos November 3, 2011, 8:35 am

    I laughed at this just as much as I did the first time. ‘When is Christmas this year?’ Love it.

  • Jack November 3, 2011, 9:50 am

    Thanksgiving- oh the bane of my existence. Can’t we just skip these family affairs and go to Aruba.

  • laughingmom November 3, 2011, 10:23 am

    That cracked me up! We agreed to holiday at home this year – although I bet he changes his mind on Dec.24. – BUT you really get Chrismakah this year!

  • Fragrant Liar November 3, 2011, 10:29 am

    I’m dizzy now.

  • Kate Coveny Hood November 3, 2011, 11:39 am

    Love the Cadbury Eggs. My husband is all about planning for the holidays – but ONLY if we don’t spend ANY MONEY. Which is totally doable right?

  • mark @ yelling near you November 3, 2011, 11:56 am

    “Not at this specific moment.” That’s a mantra, if I ever heard one.
    Ooo, Cadbury Eggs? The only real plan for the holidays is to not plan for the holidays.

  • Dick Head November 3, 2011, 12:43 pm

    Hi, yeah just wanted to say your site sucks. Kthanksbai.

  • Yuliya November 3, 2011, 3:15 pm

    I remember this post from the first time you ran it, and that makes me feel old somehow.

  • Adventures In Babywearing November 4, 2011, 12:02 am

    That is my husband!

    Steph

  • Wendi November 4, 2011, 7:39 am

    Dick Head sounds fun.

    After your husband figures out Christmas, can you ask him when Cinco de Mayo is?

  • dusty earth mother November 4, 2011, 8:36 am

    Love this so much. But listen, just be grateful that it’s a festive black knit ski cap and not a GARISH SHAPELESS RED 1980’s REINDEER SWEATER that is being worn six months out of the year. Like some retro husbands we know.

  • injaynesworld November 4, 2011, 9:34 am

    Sugar-induced enthusiasm. Yep. It sounds like he may have already had too many Cadbury eggs. When I read posts like this it makes me ever so slightly regret not being married — if only for the blog fodder. ;)

  • Suniverse November 4, 2011, 9:55 am

    Except for the matzoh and Cadbury eggs, I’d think you had taped our holiday conversations.

    EXCEPT for adding in the discussion on the girl’s school break schedule, which I had to look up because he couldn’t. While he was at work. At his computer.

  • Roshni November 4, 2011, 3:09 pm

    Dear Ann,

    I love that you actually pay attention to what your husband says!!

    Love,
    Roshni
    (P.S. how’re you??!!?)

  • The Flying Chalupa November 4, 2011, 5:56 pm

    I loved this post when it first came out – and I love it still. It’s a guide for all husbands, I believe.

    I’m not expecting anything for the holidays this year, but maybe the husband will make me some tea with fenugreek to promote milk production.

  • Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog November 6, 2011, 10:26 am

    I love this. It’s like we’re married to the same man. Except for the Matzoh balls.

    Heh. Balls. That never gets old.

  • bernthis November 6, 2011, 6:32 pm

    The view of divorce looks pretty good right now. :)

  • Lady Jennie November 23, 2011, 1:13 am

    I knew I could count on you for a good laugh. :-) It all just sounds so familiar, minus the Matzoh balls. I wonder how to make gluten free Matzoh balls. I used to love them in NY before I was diagnosed as intolerant.

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