those of you you there, Suzy Soro, not on facebook—it now has a scrolling feed with moment-by-moment updates of everything your “friends” are doing online—every link people click, articles they read and what they’re listening to online, and of course what they “like.” It’s only a matter of time before facebook starts monotony-harvesting directly from our brains…
Ann is dosing 5 chocolate chips because she’s heard that sucking slowly and mindfully on chocolate can be like methadone for sugar-addicts.
Ann is checking to see if anyone re-tweeted the thing she posted on Twitter about her feeling like a reptile after eating a hard-boiled egg.
Ann’s sense of humor “likes” the thing she posted about her feeling like a reptile after eating a hard-boiled egg.
Ann’s conscience is wondering if she shouldn’t have put all 5 chocolate chips in her mouth at once. She chewed the chocolate chips and now she can’t unchew them and mindfully suck on them until they dissolve. Ann wonders why she always messes with Universe of Chips.
Ann might remove that reptile/hard-boiled egg post from her stream. Ann knew she shouldn’t have used the word “scales” because reptiles don’t exactly have scales. Well they kind of do, but people associate scales with fish, so that is reason enough not to use the word scales. Ann was picturing herself as a snake, unhinging her mouth and gulping down the whole hard-boiled egg while under a heat lamp in her own little terrarium. Wait. Is a snake even a reptile? Ann is pre-google-reflex wondering if a snake is an amphibian.
Ann’s inner ear is listening to a song from Temple which sounds like it should be a Christian song because it involves the words “Great Mighty and Awesome God Supreme.” Ann is not so much listening to the music as trying to exfoliate it from her cerebellum. God Supreme sounds like such a special burger.
Now Ann is watching the words GREAT MIGHTY and AWESOME pop out of her head in individual cartouches. Ann learned the word “Cartouche” from a grade school art teacher she had one year named Anona. She remembers Anona because Anona also taught her the word palindrome. Dude, Anona is a palindrome.
Now Ann is remembering her creepy 7th grade art teacher who pulled her aside after class and asked her about her social life. The Middle School Columnist just popped into Ann’s brain saying What is a social life and why are you asking me this Mr. Hagen? I like how you draw trees but I hate standing here and I can’t even explain to myself why you’re freaking me out big time. If I’m late to Spanish, Sra. Perry is going to have a total cow. Please blink now, Mr. Hagen.
Ann just read the articles: permission slip, class newsletter, stare into space for 3 full minutes at a screen in your periphery.
Ann commented to herself on her own internal status: Well, that’s just dandy, Ann has 15 minutes left until pre-K pick up, no more chocolate chips, and no retweets about hardboiled eggs.