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Inspire your senses and transform your liberal guilt with essential oil blends that are just right for your semi-conscious mind!

WiseMindEase Pillow Spritzer You bought stocking-stuffers from a big box store, and you’re still processing hypo-local shame. Those stores provide a lot of jobs, but they are low-wage jobs. This big box recognizes domestic partner benefits, however also allows open carry. All of the trinkets said MADE IN THE USA and contain no lead or nickel and were made in a nut-free facility. However, said trinkets were not registered fair-trade, and that’s keeping you up at night.

JadedLemon Drops You bought your helpers Starbucks Cards, but all your holiday parties have left you without a moment to Snopes that Starbucks Grande GMOs Latte Facebook link. You betrayed your local coffee roaster, but this time for a public school fund-raiser, and you heard Starbucks pays their employees well and offers insurance. To be frank, you’re already going above and beyond here anyway. Soothe yourself; who even gives to postpersons anymore? You do.

DoOver Towelettes You remembered to wish your neighbor “Happy Diwli!” but what you said was “Happy Denali!” Doubles as a car freshener.

Ambivilenze Facial Steamer You bought your holiday dress from a single-woman-owned hyper-local shop, but the dress was made in China. You brought it home in your sustainable monogrammed tote, and now you’d like to put your head in one.

Humble Pie Spice You ordered your holiday cards for 60% off online. You did not support your local printer, but neither did you carbon-emit with your car to the local printer. You chose postcards with no envelopes for less footprint, but did not spring for the recycled card stock for an additional $9.99, Cheapskate. Time to re-center, seasonally speaking.

Gentle Gentile Cleanse The 8 Days of Oils! idea for your Sassy Jewish Accountant buddy was swell, but the Joyeux Noel PursePak (TM) didn’t go over so well. Bathe your myopia in a gayer yuletide, while cleansing your mind of the phrase “Sassy Jewish Accountant buddy.”

ReNewReYou Essence You debated this one, but that freebie manicure set you re-gifted your dry cleaner from the casino was only gently used. Considering the shekels you shell out in his patchouli-stank eco-vegan-laundry hovel every week, he should be the one giving you a mani/pedi. Live reduce, reuse, recycle as your creed, and ReNewReYou Essence on your pulse-points.

AbSolution Nasal Mist You ate all of your kid’s advent candy before the 12 days of Christmas. Now you must once again buy non-fair-trade chocolate, knowing full-well of the chocolate shortage and especially about cheap-chocolate labor. But since you have to replace the advent calendar anyway, sniff your way to a clearer conscious. Breathe in, breath out–absolve yourself nasally–and buy a few bars of organic fair trade chocolate on your next trip to the co-op.

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Happy Holidays, Everyone!

Wishing you love and peace in abundance.

Thank you for reading. Can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.

Fondly,

your Sassy Jewish Blogger buddy

 

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Throwback Thursday: Eight Years Ago, A Twee Ten-Pound One-Ouncer

Happy Birthday Eight! You've never liked it when I talk about you on the internet. I'll keep this brief, try to do no harm, and hope and pray that no one who knows you in real life repeats any of this back to you. Like all those "tread lightly" signs your dad and I saw… Read More

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It’s On Us: For White People Who Want to Fight Racism in Madison and Everywhere

Last night, as the country watched Darren Wilson not get indicted and not face a trial for Mike Brown's death, I saw plea after plea online from Black friends and peers--people of color in my life imploring their white counterparts to SPEAK UP. I saw a lot of fear from white people about saying the… Read More

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LTYM in 39 cities in 2015, but first at The Women’s Expo November 23rd!

Dear Friends and Readers, THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON. First, please watch Listen To Your Mother's 2015 season announcement brought to you by over one hundred local visionary women director/producers--four of whom have worked tirelessly with me for months to prepare for this launch--and thousands of folks who've entrusted LTYM with their stories over… Read More

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Quiz: My calendar, or my 18 year old niece’s calendar?

My niece went off to college. We stay in touch through Facebook, texting, and we even spoke on that old-fashioned telephone contraption one time. Listening to her describe her day-to-day, I realized how nearly undecipherable our lives have become from one another.  Our calendars look so similar in fact, I challenge you to determine whose… Read More

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I’ve never been scarier. Trust me. And don’t call me “kiddo.”

Some years back, my internet life led me to filmmaker Anne Flournoy, of the highly-acclaimed web-series The Louise Log. Friendship ensued, and Anne asked me if I'd like to act in an episode of The Louise Log. I gave up acting professionally years ago, but every so often the universe hands me a job, and… Read More

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