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Inspire your senses and transform your liberal guilt with essential oil blends that are just right for your semi-conscious mind!

WiseMindEase Pillow Spritzer You bought stocking-stuffers from a big box store, and you’re still processing hypo-local shame. Those stores provide a lot of jobs, but they are low-wage jobs. This big box recognizes domestic partner benefits, however also allows open carry. All of the trinkets said MADE IN THE USA and contain no lead or nickel and were made in a nut-free facility. However, said trinkets were not registered fair-trade, and that’s keeping you up at night.

JadedLemon Drops You bought your helpers Starbucks Cards, but all your holiday parties have left you without a moment to Snopes that Starbucks Grande GMOs Latte Facebook link. You betrayed your local coffee roaster, but this time for a public school fund-raiser, and you heard Starbucks pays their employees well and offers insurance. To be frank, you’re already going above and beyond here anyway. Soothe yourself; who even gives to postpersons anymore? You do.

DoOver Towelettes You remembered to wish your neighbor “Happy Diwli!” but what you said was “Happy Denali!” Doubles as a car freshener.

Ambivilenze Facial Steamer You bought your holiday dress from a single-woman-owned hyper-local shop, but the dress was made in China. You brought it home in your sustainable monogrammed tote, and now you’d like to put your head in one.

Humble Pie Spice You ordered your holiday cards for 60% off online. You did not support your local printer, but neither did you carbon-emit with your car to the local printer. You chose postcards with no envelopes for less footprint, but did not spring for the recycled card stock for an additional $9.99, Cheapskate. Time to re-center, seasonally speaking.

Gentle Gentile Cleanse The 8 Days of Oils! idea for your Sassy Jewish Accountant buddy was swell, but the Joyeux Noel PursePak (TM) didn’t go over so well. Bathe your myopia in a gayer yuletide, while cleansing your mind of the phrase “Sassy Jewish Accountant buddy.”

ReNewReYou Essence You debated this one, but that freebie manicure set you re-gifted your dry cleaner from the casino was only gently used. Considering the shekels you shell out in his patchouli-stank eco-vegan-laundry hovel every week, he should be the one giving you a mani/pedi. Live reduce, reuse, recycle as your creed, and ReNewReYou Essence on your pulse-points.

AbSolution Nasal Mist You ate all of your kid’s advent candy before the 12 days of Christmas. Now you must once again buy non-fair-trade chocolate, knowing full-well of the chocolate shortage and especially about cheap-chocolate labor. But since you have to replace the advent calendar anyway, sniff your way to a clearer conscious. Breathe in, breath out–absolve yourself nasally–and buy a few bars of organic fair trade chocolate on your next trip to the co-op.


Happy Holidays, Everyone!

Wishing you love and peace in abundance.

Thank you for reading. Can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.


your Sassy Jewish Blogger buddy



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